"Can't Explain Why Your Loving Makes Me Weak..."

Who in my followers knows this song?


And who in my followers relates with the *concept* of this song?


I was 10 years old when this song came out. In 5th grade I was already using music to understand what happens in love relationships. Learning from songs that a flavor of love is painful, longing and heart wrenching. That suffering with and perseverating on love relationships is just part of dating and relationships.


This may be polarizing and I’m here to say that painful, heart wrenching and thought consuming love is no longer my M.O.


It’s not healthy.


Shifting this isn’t easy because how we love is so deeply rooted in how our caregivers related us.


The rewards when you can shift this way of unhealthy love are:


-Being comfortable with intimacy

-Knowing “I’m ok, you’re ok” if the relationship ends

-Feeling autonomous in close relationships

-Self confidence

-An ability to resolve conflict constructively


How good and grounding does that feel?


I’ll be writing more in the coming months about attachment theory. I’ve been doing a ton of research on it and it’s absolutely fascinating and at the heart of healthy dating and cultivating self-worth.


Have a great Sunday everyone!

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