I had an online journal in my 20s and early 30s. I made an entry on September 8, 2012. I was 30 years old.
I did a visioning exercise for a releasing ceremony after yet another grueling end to a relationship I really wanted to work.
This is what I wrote in a stream of consciousness about the person I wanted to call in next:
"I want to find a man that gets me completely: tall, handsome, brown eyes, at or over thirty, funny, been to college and/or a graduate degree, adventurous (likes to try new things), enjoys vegging out too, has manners, protective of me, NON-SMOKER, likes to drink but doesn't need to drink all the time, understands what it means in the larger sense to live a healthy life, enjoys some kind of physical activity, tells the truth, stays in touch (likes to text and call), loves having sex with me, can listen, can give and take advice, not a slob but not a neat freak, on time for things, has a good relationship with his family (talks to them, visits them), loves and respects his mother, wants me to be a part of his world, financially comfortable or well off, has a career not just a job, has a sense of style, has 1 or more tattoos that are hidden, loves music and/or passionate about something creative aside from his career, not currently in a band..."
On October 15th, 2020 I have this man. Everything I wrote (with the exception of the tattoo) is who this man is to the core.
Having "a list" in 2012 was just the first step in finding the partnership and love I was longing for.
Next I had to roll up my sleeves and get intimate with my own desires.
Desire is a force strong enough to transform anything.
I’ll be sharing my story and teaching about how to work with Desire on a free online training for women called DATING BY DESIGN
noticed you've PLAYED SMALL in your love life
felt UNWORTHY of what you really want in your relationships
shut down urges if they go against what you think you SHOULD want⠀⠀⠀
ever SABOTAGED your romantic life when you had the chance to receive exactly what you wanted
Then this one’s for you.