Today I wanted to talk about how you work with yourself and stay conscious when someone or something outside of you triggers pain inside of you.
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We all have emotional hot buttons and unexpected changes and instability can make our buttons more easily activated.
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A while back I wrote a piece on "Emotional Achilles Heels" aka the emotional triggers we carry around us that can get triggered as the people around us mirror the healing we need back to us.
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These emotional injuries (healed or not) that when touched, aggravated or reinjured can leave us in pain with an inability to move.
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A few include:
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• Fear of the unknown
• Being ignored, not mattering
• Feeling left out or rejected
• Abandonment
• Fear of not being good enough
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I wanted to share a tool that helps me work through triggers.
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Here's the thing.
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Whatever is triggering you hurts.
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Acknowledge that.
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Then remind yourself it's also showing you what you need to heal.
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Try this:
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Step 1. Name it. The sooner you notice that you’re triggered, the quicker your recovery. You can say to yourself, "I'm feeling _____." "Something is triggering me and I don't know what it is." ⠀⠀
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Step 2. Take space appropriately. Don’t act when triggered! Find some relatively graceful way of removing yourself from the triggering situation. Taking space can be difficult right now but it can look like going to another room, taking a walk or putting on headphones.
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Step 3. Shift your state. Use any of a range of state-shifting tools to bring you back to a state of inner clarity and balance with yourself. Some of my state shifting tools include journaling, EFT, exercise, calling a friends to talk it out.
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Step 4. Respond to the situation. Respond rather than react. Speak a truth. Set a boundary. Apologize. Do whatever you need to do to restore clarity, balance and connection with others.
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Have a safe and beautiful Sunday,
Michele
Founder @womencanheal
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