I think this is a pretty controversial statement and raises a lot of thoughtful questions. I’ll speak from my personal experience and say that I believed a lie I told myself that finding a life partner would fix all my problems. I had problems because I wouldn’t do the healing work I needed. I was on dating sites hurting from the last relationship that I got in because I was hurting from the one before that and the one before that because I had some unresolved issues from the one before that. If we are hurting and dating I think we repeat the same dating chaos over and over again. I think giving ourselves time and space to heal is an act of self love and when we love ourselves others can too.