I live on a very big hill and in order to get to the bus stop I need to walk up it. I make this walk every morning. This morning as I walked up there was a man who was walking toward me. He was walking on the right side and I was walking on the right side.
We looked at each other as we were walking and officially started a silent game of chicken. We got closer and the moment of truth came (who was going to move to the other side of the road?) he stopped and said “you know that woman walk (he pointed to right) and man (he pointed to left).” I said kind of in disbelief and with some frustration and dismissal, “Really?!” And then he smiled and explained to me that in his country (Nicaragua) women walk on the right and men will walk on the left because the men protect the women and children from the dangers on the road. I felt immediately washed over with warmth and my heart opened.
This is what recovery has given me. Years ago I wouldn’t have even stopped to wait for a moment like this to arise after feeling frustrated. I would have disconnected. I would have put a story on this man that he was trying to dominate and control me. I would have been annoyed and let that annoyance crystallize a resentment toward men. It would have probably come out sideways at my partner or some other man who had nothing to do with this morning interaction.
Today I am learning how to wait for more miracles of connection like this. To soften and see the love people are trying to send my way.