Here is what I strive for in my relationship.
Realistic: I strive to see my partner realistically. Meaning I evaluate my own projections, assumptions and unreasonable expectations and check them when necessary.
Growth: I do the inner work for me and no one else. He does the inner work for him and no one else.
Adulting: I honor the triggers in me that put me into a child ego state (eg. blaming and pulling to be rescued) and take responsibility for seeing my part and giving myself or asking for what I need.
Solutions: I focus on the present and the possibility of resolution. I give my partner the benefit of the doubt.
Abundance: I create a full life outside my relationship and don’t expect my relationship to be the only source of filling up in my life. I bring that fullness back him for us both to enjoy.
Enjoyment: While my partner and I will disagree and differ in opinions we don’t need to change each other to be happy. We can still enjoy and respect each other.