(2) It’s a time to do the inner work to let go of old narratives and shame so you can love yourself and deeply honor your worth
EXAMPLE: “I knew when we started this I didn’t see it as long term thing but I remained open to it.” His words after he told me it was over. I felt my cheeks get hot and I knew what that meant. I felt shame. I felt my self-esteem shatter and hit the floor. I hated the reflection of myself I was seeing in this break up. Inside I felt like a discarded piece of trash. I felt so low and continued to go lower for several months after. It’s natural for us to doubt ourselves occasionally but these painful narratives that tell us we are trash, ugly, not good enough or a failure can leave us feeling crippling insecurity and unhealthy emotional dependence. Both of which push us into new relationships unhealed and destined for history to repeat itself.
HEALING: When I begin the hard work of letting go of the shame of being single and shifting my narratives I began to esteem myself. Learning to see myself as good (worthy) I started to let go of trying to get love and attention from people and things to define my worth. I began to collect daily evidence and build a SOLID case for my deservingness in love and in life. In time the shame attached being single dropped away and my inner narrative went from “What’s wrong with me?” to “I'm enough and willing to wait for the right thing." ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
LESSON: Time alone outside of partnership is an amazing time to do the inner work to shift your insides. Drop shame and rewrite narratives. Remember, when your insides shift your surroundings follow.⠀⠀⠀