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Who You Are Without a Relationship

When I got clear that I wanted to work directly with women seeking transformation and support to find love and relationships it felt like a veil had been lifted off my eyes and I could see my whole life flash before me. I felt in total alignment. My writing just poured out of me. Then… fear and insecurity set in. The question that kept nagging me was this: What if YOUR relationship ends? The thing I love about being a coach is that there is very little that separates me from the clients I work with. We ask ourselves the same questions. We have the same doubts and fears. So when I start to feel physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually uncomfortable I often ask myself, what would I tell my client who was having the same issue? I would say this: “One of my teachers who was a great help in teaching me what I now do with women is Katherine Woodworth Thomas. She wrote a phenomenal book laying out the steps on how she transformed and healed and then found love. She made a bunch of money and got very popular. Then ten years later she divorced the man who she married who she also wrote about in the book. Some of the things people had to say weren’t nice. They discredited her. Shamed her. Made fun of her. Called her a failure. Then she wrote a book about how to break up with someone and made a bunch of money and got even more popular and has helped thousands of people heal and move on effectively. My point in sharing this is that you are not the sum of the things happening in your life. You are not limited by your past or present circumstances. I can’t tell you who you are but I can tell you who you aren’t. You are not your successful relationship. You are not your painful breakup. You are not your job. You are not your friends. You are not your clothes. You are not your hobbies. Whoever you are is steady and unshakable and she lives in the core of your being. To find her all you have to do is ask: Who am I? How am I feeling? What do I want?”